I've gotten some doozy gift items over the years. I won't get into details too much here - hate to hurt anyone's feelings or anything. I mean, intentionally. I'm sure I hurt thousands of folks feelings on a regular basis - but when it's *accidental* it's sorta okay. At least that's what I tell myself when I can't sleep at night or when I'm at confessional on Sunday mornings.

I've actually never done that. Confessional. They never had it at my church (non-Catholic) and I was always sorta disappointed I couldn't go in there and make small talk with someone. Must be a bit of a burden release to be able to tell someone your deepest darkest secrets. I feel like I could gauge the adventurous level of my life by how bored the dude in there listening would probably be.

"Forgive me, Father. I've sinned. Blah blah blah (insert your own Catholic garb here). I need to confess: I filled my purse up with the hazelnut flavored mini-creamers from the 7-11 without paying for them and I had really racy thoughts about some possible sexual encounters I would like to have if I ever come face to face with LL Cool J. Also, I lied to a female coworker ("nah, totally can't see that mustache you bleached!") oh, and I also said the F bomb a few times at a minivan full of Asians trying to run me off the road on 95S. I will surely go to Hell.."..

Of course, my first thought is to wonder how many people have snuck off into the confessional booth during a boring mid-morning sermon to make out in the Lord's house. Oh, come on! You know people are doing it in there. Married people of course. Religious married people with strong moral character and a propensity for rebellion.

Propensity for Rebellion would be an awesome band name.

Back to the bad gifts. Ahem. One year my mom got me a sweatshirt with puffy paint on it. Which might not have been so bad had the sweatshirt itself not been white, the puffy paint rainbow in color and the words written on it: I (heart) Jesus. Oh, and I was in 10th grade. Try living *that* one down in 1992. I would have gotten made fun of less for wearing a clown costume. Its not that I'm anti-Jesus. I'm just anti-white, rainbow puffy paint sweatshirts. The fact that it was religious hardly mattered. I know one thing for sure - I wish I still had it. I could wear it to my awkward religious-themed sweatshirt party*

*everyone has ugly sweater parties. I thought I'd change it up a bit.

Well, I should go. It's way too early to be blogging and (trust me on this one) I need all the beauty sleep I can get. I apologize for the low quality of this blog, but what can I say? I'm sleep deprived and my creative juices are in short supply. And I don't like you very much*

*totally not true

Have a great Friday and an even better weekend. And Merry Christmas and all that stuff. I hope you get everything you asked for and more. No, really. I hope you do. You deserve it.