I was wondering today - why people are inherently evil. Ok, well maybe evil isn't the right terminology. Maybe what I mean is morally corrupt. Who is to blame for this? Society? Genetics? Poor family upbringing? Newt Gingrich, perhaps?

I was talking to my sister at length today about being a nurse (she is one too) and about how the thing I like the most about nursing is the ability I have to help others. Not in a "fix a boo boo" kind of way (although, that's nice sometimes too), but having the ability to touch someone else's life or even make someone's day a little shinier... a little happier. I guess really, it's not so much that I do this at my job, but I try to integrate this in everything I do in life. A few days ago at Aldi (where I always give my cart away - why on Earth would I want someone's quarter?) and a lady with a slew of children in her cart had some runaway cans of diced tomatoes. She had improperly stacked them on the bottom of the cart (Aldi doesn't provide bags) most likely trying to make space in the cart for her babies and the cans rebelled; there they were... rolling around in the parking lot. Of course I'm going to stop what I'm doing and pick the cans up for her. Why wouldn't I? If for no other reason than I had my son with me and he should see that people do this. This is what people SHOULD do, right? Why are people so awful? Is there even a reason? In the last two years at my job, I've bought patient's clothes (with my own money), I've made patients desserts (don't tell the state, I'm probably not supposed to do this) - I've given away winter coats, notebooks, AA batteries, music CDs, lotion, purses... I mean, I could go on and on. My point is - I don't want any recognition for these things... I just do it because I should. And I can. And anyone who SHOULD and CAN help out, well - should. I'm talking to you, Chester!

Of course, reading this blog *is* a tremendous help to my declining self-esteem... but I digress.

I think if more people realized the affect they had on the world in the smallest most mediocre actions, there would be way more good and way less evil. I don't even want to say its a matter of being selfish because I totally get a self-centered rush when I help other people out. I don't do it for them, per say. I do it because doing the right thing is what I'm supposed to do... and doing what I'm supposed to do makes me feel alright. And alright is a good thing. It's a small snippet of feel-good in an otherwise shitty world. So, in actuality - it's me being selfish. That's the way I see it. And I'm an expert on most things. So you should follow what I say as though this here blog were your how-to manual for living. A Guide to Life & Some Funny Jokes & Lots o' Self-Deprecation. It's a tad wordy.

I've been rather poor lately. The economic down slide and the plight of my recently poor financial decisions involving an ex-husband have led me to retain the burden of debt with the lack of proper funding. Christmas was especially hard on me and the credit card I got "for emergencies" has quickly become the credit card for any overtures in my finances - including presents, BGE bills and the occasional grocery jaunt (of course not Aldi - they only take ATM cards. Sigh). I used to be stressed about the fact that my credit card now carries a substantial balance, but I'm not anymore. And its not because I think the world might end in December of next year (I don't), but more because I feel like life's way too short. Do I make financially poor decisions? Most certainly. Do I have my heart in the right place? Like 90% of the time. So I feel like - in the end - it works out to my advantage. I'm not blowing money on a health-loan financed tummy tuck (oooooh, how I wish I could though!) but I'm not making it work with a balanced budget and for now, it is what it is. So be it.

So you may be saying to yourself: get to the friggin' point, Jessica. Why are you going all Suze Orman on us? Is this a blog about budgeting?? Or about selfishness and the American way? Really, it's about neither of those things. It's more of a pleading for people to just be more aware of what they are doing to help out others. And a relatively shallow cover for what the true meaning of Christmas is: reading blogs instead of spending quality time with your family. Just kidding! It's about doing the right thing.

On that note, I will go. It's 5pm on Christmas and I should probably figure out what I am doing today. It's been one of those emotional roller-coaster holidays where I go back and forth between wanting to lay in bed all day and feeling like I should be jogging. Only you know, without the actual jogging. Because that would require me to move this laptop off of my lap and put on some pants.

Merry Christmas Blog Readers. I hope you're having a super day. And if you have any extra urges to buy me a post-Christmas present, I will direct you here to the Herman Cain action figure. Oh, I'm so not kidding. I can't decide if he looks like a recycled Urkel doll or a brown Ken with a child-molester mustache. Either way - it's a gift worth giving!

http://herobuilders.com/politicalactionfigures2010.htm