I'm kidding. Everything is free here. Sadly, I can't charge money for my blogs because, well A. no one would pay. And B. I'm pretty sure most of my friends are poor. And C. I would feel bad. Ironic, seeing as the majority of America doesn't mind freebies, entertainment at the expense of others and gratuitous handouts, but I'm old-fashioned. I believe you should actually work for your dollars. Imagine that. Working for money. It's old-school I know... but I'm bringing it back in 2012. I think the slogan for this year should be "2012 - Hey, Lazy ass: Stop mooching off the government and get to work". Somehow I don't think it will fly with the Democrats.

Before I get off subject into a political tirade about the downfalls of the economy and who is to blame, let me say Happy New Year to you, friend. 2011 is a thing of the past and boy, am I ever glad. (Can I get a whoop, whoop? No. Okay.) What a craptastic year 2011 turned out to be. At least the worst one to date in my opinion- even surpassing on the suck-scale the year 1986 when Mad Cow disease was first identified, sweeping tax reform was introduced by the government and smoking was banned on all public transportation. (Ironically, also the year that the Nicotine Patch was invented. Probably not a coincidence as the man who invented it was an avid subway rider/chain smoker*) *I don't know if that's true, but it would seem likely.

It was also the year my father died. At least I think. Maybe it was 1987. At any rate, 2011 was heinous for multiple reasons of which I won't get into right now lest I start to rage violently and have to punch my laptop to make the voices go away.

My message in this blog is about acceptance. I've learned the hard way that you can't always predict how life will turn out. You can play it by the book and dot all your i's and cross all your t's (except when you don't and they look like l's) but you know what I'm sayin. I'm certainly not perfect by any stretch.. and who is really? But I try to make most decisions based on what I perceive to be the best option for all involved. It just doesn't always seem that apparent to everyone else.. and you know what? that's okay. Because everyone has a different perspective on life. Everyone does. Everyone sees things differently, interprets things differently.. not everyone will even agree with that. But what matters is that I know that what I am doing is right. Deep down, I know. And that's why I can write comical blogs making fun of myself and the world I live in rather than rocking in the corner under a table in a fetal position. I'm better than that. And, gosh darn'it, so are you. Yes you are.

Wow. I don't even know where I am going with this. I should have had an agenda when I started out this blog. An outline maybe. Maybe even a small English professor sitting next to me guiding me through my literary workings like some eloquently verbal muse.

I feel like I have more to say, but for the sake of time and my heavy eyelids, I am going to go. I hope 2012 brings you all the joy you could ask for. I hope it's a time of uplifting and success... and perhaps (you know who you are) the cure for that raging STD. Love ya.