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If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.
I haven't blogged in awhile and I could really list the number of reasons why here - in easy-to-read bulleted fashion for you. It's the same as always - life gets in my way. It crowds me in and doesn't leave any gaps of time to myself. I get snippets here and there... mostly at night. I waste them stalking people on Facebook or trying to outsmart someone in Words with Friends. Yesterday, I played a 111 point word. Extras. That was the word. Don't be jealous.... all Words with Friends is based on is luck. Luck and the experience of being a psych nurse on the 7p-7a shift in a unit with insomniac rapists and murderers who liked Scrabble. Does that sound interesting? Scary? Yeah... sure am glad that job is over and done with.
I thought 2011 was a shitty year with my mother dying unexpectedly (drugs. I mean, the death certificate said natural causes, but lets be honest here - it was the drugs that did her away.). Then, followed 2012 when I went through my horrible divorce and suffered name-calling and mud flinging at the hands of my jealous and emotionally immature ex husband. Oh, and I got my heart trampled on by someone I thought was sincere. Let's not forget that. Maybe *that* year was bad. But, never to be outdone is 2013, sliding in to take an ever pressing 1st place. Death of someone close AND my ex husband is being a dick. All in the same year. Congrats 2013, you conniving bastard. You win. There's no metal to give out, but you've done it.....top prize for you.
The problem with losing my nephew is that I feel like it's not in my place to be sad. See, my sister and I - we're all we've got over here in Maryland. I don't have a mom or dad. No grandparents. No aunts or uncles really. Just her. And she gets to be devastated, you know? Because she's Mom. She's the one who grew him in her belly and took him to therapy and found his body. Sigh. I'm just a bystander. So then why do I feel so much guilt? Oh, right... because similar to my mother, I checked out of the Zachary issues when they were getting to be too much for me to handle. Tough love and all that. I was the same with my Mom. You have to wanna get better, buddy. That's what I'd tell him the few times we spoke. You have to stop cutting yourself and straighten up. You really don't have that much to be sad about.
Easy for me to say. Because, I gotta be honest - it's real easy to feel abandoned even when you have a lot going for you in life. Truth.
I remember one year when I took Zach with me on vacation (bc in my early 20's, that's what I did... I took him with me everywhere) and he was the most well-behaved kid on the trip. I don't think I yelled at him one time. He had such a good time getting buried in the sand and playing with me at the house.. and I remember on the way back from NC, I tried to stop at McDonalds so he could use the bathroom (he was 5) and it was one of those exits where they say there's a McDonalds - but really it's off another exit off that exit and then up a ways. It's such a tease. "McDonalds, next left. Then, a mile up the road, then a right, then a U-turn, then go through a toll booth and across a river. You might have to travel by donkey". That's what it should REALLY say. So that by the time I would find the McDonalds, Zach would have peed himself in the back seat. His little angelic face... I'm so sorry, Aunt Jessie, he'd say. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. And I didn't care. Not too much. I was just mad because I wanted fries.....bc see, this food addict thing's been around forever.
The holidays are here and I don't even care. Halloween came and went and I put on a happy face and pretended to laugh at the annual party I throw for my kids and I gawked at the trick-or-treaters on Halloween night in their festive costumes (saw an awesome Edward the scissorhands) and played it up (should get an Academy Award for this stuff). Cause Halloween is my dig. It's my go-to celebratory time before all this shitty feel-good crap starts and that stupid song about the girl buying her dead mother shoes starts playing on the radio and I wonder what's wrong with me that I'm not excited about Christmas and New Year's. Because every year they've been preceded by sadness. And because if you don't have much of a family, the holidays are just like every other day really. Well, really they are about my kids and even they are sadder this year.
God, I sound so bitter. I'm not usually like this, I swear. I'm usually upbeat and funny and making jokes... at the very least, I'm talking about food. That's what I do, right? Make jokes and talk about food? And make fun of myself? I should have taken a longer break from blogs.
I don't know how to end this so I will just state that this holiday season, you should focus on being kind. It's not hard you know - being kind. If I had one wish, it would be that people would just be nicer to one another. That's all. Not millions of dollars or a night with Ryan Reynolds - just kinder, more thoughtful people. Can you make that happen for me please? In exchange, I promise my next blog will be more upbeat. At least I will try my hardest to make it seem that way.
Here's hoping.
- There is nothing more reassuring than knowing that the world is crazier than you are.
- If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.
- It is our job to protect the children of the world. For as long as they believe in us, we will guard them with our lives...
- You can't run a global network of interconnected cells from a cave
- Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.
- You know, for a while, I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. But now I'm starting to think you're the worst.
- The name would mean nothing to you. It's a place, like too many in this world
- She sent you after me, knowing you're not ready, knowing you would likely die. Mommy was very bad.
- Do not confuse love with lust, nor drunkenness with judgment.
- "Fear" is a four-letter word, ladies! You wanna go peepee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself!
- In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.
- Do you remember the time we were going to get your teeth fixed and we spent all of the money on Francis's toupee?
- I remember grey carpet. I wanna go home.
- I was having twelve percent of a moment.
- What about the dog? Does he have Glaucoma too?
- "they"
- 1980's work-out leggings
- 2011 was the strangest year ever
- 2012
- 4th grade book report
- a blog about knitting
- a list of stressors
- a pet monkey
- a recipe for Salisbury Steak
- Air Supply
- Anasocoria
- And that's how Karen Carpenter died
- Andrew McCarthy
- Angela Lansbury
- Angelina Jolie pooping
- Arizona
- artwork
- Asian porn
- Augmentin
- Baby Sinclair
- Baltimore Aquarium
- Baltimore Ravens
- bathing
- bathing suits
- BCPD
- bedbugs
- Being a nurse
- being grateful
- being nice
- Beyonce
- birthdays
- Black Friday
- blah blah blah
- blow-up donkey
- Bolivian Stew
- Bruce Willis
- Bugles
- bumf
- cheesecake
- Christmas Donkey
- Christmastime
- Circus
- cocktail weiners
- Coke Zero
- confessional booth at church
- Corey Feldman
- Corey Haim
- couch jumping
- Cougar Town
- crack popcorn
- crying
- dairy products
- David Hasselhoff
- Debbie Gibson tapes
- Deep Fried Oreos
- deep-fried foods
- dem O's
- diet
- dimples
- Ding Dong Deli Kelly
- divorce
- Doogie Howser MD
- douche-bags
- douchebags
- Draw something
- drunk Jess
- drunk pirates
- Easter
- ebay
- Einstein
- Facebook statuses
- facebook whore
- fat girls running in marathons
- feeces
- FICO score
- food
- food addiction
- food stamps
- football
- Fraggle Rock
- Funyuns
- gastric bypass surgery
- Gem
- ghetto friends
- Gilbert Gottfried
- GLOW
- gluten
- Golden Girls
- Gonnorrhea
- grammatical errors
- greeting cards
- Guam
- haiti
- half-marathon
- halloween
- Happy Birthday to my brother
- helping others
- herpes
- hiccups
- high school reunions
- holidays
- home alarms
- hookers and booze
- Hot Latino from Brazil
- hot model wife
- hot shirtless guy
- IKEA
- Indian recipes
- Jim Brewer
- Jim Croce
- Jo from Facts of Life
- Justin Tucker
- ketchup
- Kristi
- lazy calves
- lesbians
- life lessons
- LL Cool J
- love
- low self esteem
- Mail-Order Brides
- making fun of rap
- Married with Children
- Martha Stewart
- Martin Luther
- meditation
- mental illness
- Menudo
- merkins
- Michael Jordan
- moth balls
- Motorcycles are death machines
- MS
- MTV
- Multiple Sclerosis
- Murder She Wrote
- my mom
- Native Americans
- New Years
- NKOTB
- nude photos
- NWA's F*ck The Police
- Occupy Baltimore
- Ocean City
- pagers
- Paleo
- parenting
- peanut butter
- Pepsi vs Coke
- personality disorders
- perversion
- pilgrims
- politics
- poop
- poor nursing skills
- premature births
- prison
- Project Runway
- prostitutes
- Prozac
- Psychology Today
- pumpkin pie
- ramen noodles
- recipe for gaining weight
- recipes
- recycled blog
- Redd Fox
- republicans
- resolutions
- rodent hairs
- Salt N Pepa
- Santa Claus
- Satan's toys
- Scrabble
- Scrubs
- scurvy
- Seasonal Affective Disorder
- shamrock pasties
- shaving
- shoes
- Siamese Twins
- Siri
- skin cancer
- skinny people who complain about gaining weight
- sleep deprivation
- slutty prom gowns
- smoking
- smoking weed
- Snickers bars
- some year in the 1980's
- spaghetti man
- Spray tan
- St. Patty's Day
- stick figures
- stupid Maryland weather
- subdural hematoma
- Sudafed and Nyquil
- superbowl 2012
- Taco Bell
- tankinis
- tartar sauce
- the Catholics
- the end of the world
- the fat guy from lost
- The Jeffersons
- The Jonas Brothers
- The Maury Povich Show
- the rape of student loans
- The Tea Party
- therapy
- things that annoy me
- thong underwear
- Thor
- time machines
- TMZ
- tooth fairy
- tsunami
- Tummy tuck
- turkey
- TV
- ugly sweater parties
- vacuums
- Valentines day
- Vaseline
- Vietnam
- welfare
- what fun is poking if you're not even touching?
- whiskey
- Wyatt
- Xanax
- You must be super bored.
- your momma so fat jokes
- Zachary
About Me

- Jess
- I'm just a girl with a dream. Actually, that's not true. I'm an old lady and my dreams have pretty much faded away. But, for whatever it's worth, I still feel obligated to go on living. Sometimes I think too much and too long about things that it seems like no one else cares about besides me. I can't decide if this makes me a better person or doomed to live an anxiety riddled exsistence. Somewhere in the midst of all this craziness, I became one of those people who obsesses about her kids. Look at them - wouldn't you be crazy about them if they were yours?
3 comments:
:( god throws curve balls. When he gave you life he never promised it would be easy but he gave it to you.He throws these curve balls to see how strong we really are. Woman are like a teabag dip em in hot water and see how strong they really are :) you will get threw all this its just a bump in the road. And the ex, come one now, ur smarter then that jess. HHe's an ex for a reason. He was a dick then (which is why he is ur ex ) and he's a dick now. What can ya do. Your a great mom and by far a wonderful friend don't let someone bring you down. Everything happens for a reason. Old doors close so new and brighter ones can open. Let live fj nd you. Be strong, not inly for yourself but for the boys. Things will get better this is only a test from god seejng what u can handle. Goodnight love you chick keep your head up.
Oh sister, I so feel the same about the "holidays" especially this year without my mom and it will be like that every year from now on. Christmas was her holiday, she absolutely loved it, she loved decorating the whole house (even the bathroom) she loved elaborately wrapping all the gifts, she loved all the baking and cooking. I just feel like I have a huge, hot stone in my chest whenever I thing about the fact that she is no longer here and I will never hear her voice or see her face again. I know you feel my pain because your mom is gone too and now your nephew. We all feel some guilt when someone close to us dies, its always " if I had done this" or "if I had said that" or regrets about things you did or said. I have no family left either, a couple uncles that live in different states that I rarely speak to and you guys of course, the sisters that I didn't get to grow up with. I know you have had a shitty few years and I wish I could have been there for you and be there for you now, I mean physically be there and also be there in an emotional support way. The good news is that odds are the shit will clear and things will get better... At least for a while until they get bad again, thats been my experience anyway. I'm glad you're blogging again, I like reading them.
Only the funniest people are capable of true sadness. Your life has been hard. You are right to be introspective. There will be a lot of good mixed in with the bad. Look to the good for your re-centering.
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