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Yeah, ok - so it's snowing. Big deal.
I never fully understand the magnitude of obsession this state has with blizzard weather conditions. Between the careless and reckless driving, the mad dash to the grocery store (cause it's not like we're all seriously overweight and couldn't probably use a week off of food) and the never-ending news coverage, the whole thing is so overly ridiculous it should be a Saturday Night Live skit. I watched the news this morning for about an hour (because that's how long I could stand it), and I swear it was like one reporter after another standing on some miscellaneous street intersection in downtown Baltimore asking random people trekking by what they thought of the snow. Then, they have to interview some county official/state employee/government office-holder and ask him/her such pressing questions like 'when do you expect the plows to get out there?' or 'how much salt does the state have to spread on the streets'. I wish I were lying. This stuff isn't newsworthy people. It's just not.
As if that weren't so bad, I have to deal with my husband (God love him, he's like a child) telling me updates on the snow every 10 minutes. "Wow. It's still snowing". "Jess, look outside - can you believe it?" "Wow, it's like 2 feet now".... then my mom calls and gets in on it. "Calling to see how you're holding up". Holding up? It's not too much of an emotional drain on me to sit inside the house all day watching the snow fall. I'm holding up just fine. Just fine. I mean, it's the weather.... what can you really do about it? What good does stressing out about it really do? I'll get out when I get out. If that's Monday - great. If that's March - so be it. I don't like most people anyway, so the opportunity to avoid social interaction is welcome. I've got my Xanex and my brownookies (a cross between a cookie and a brownie that I made today with the boys. Fabulous)... so I'm really doing ok. Of course, while we are on the subject of food - I am a little sad at the lack of pizza & Chinese food delivery options. So there's that. But again - nothing newsworthy.
Earlier today, I watched my neighbors dig themselves (metaphorically speaking - it was the cars they were working on) out of their parking spaces and then shovel 2/3rds of the street. I'm not sure why. In a week or so (I hope sooner, but doubt it) when the city snow plows come a chuggin through, they'll re-bury those cars along with half the yard. But I guess whatever keeps you busy when the budweisers run out and the Nascar races are all over.
I can't wait for Spring.
- "they"
- 1980's work-out leggings
- 2011 was the strangest year ever
- 2012
- 4th grade book report
- a blog about knitting
- a list of stressors
- a pet monkey
- a recipe for Salisbury Steak
- Air Supply
- Anasocoria
- And that's how Karen Carpenter died
- Andrew McCarthy
- Angela Lansbury
- Angelina Jolie pooping
- Arizona
- artwork
- Asian porn
- Augmentin
- Baby Sinclair
- Baltimore Aquarium
- Baltimore Ravens
- bathing
- bathing suits
- BCPD
- bedbugs
- Being a nurse
- being grateful
- being nice
- Beyonce
- birthdays
- Black Friday
- blah blah blah
- blow-up donkey
- Bolivian Stew
- Bruce Willis
- Bugles
- bumf
- cheesecake
- Christmas Donkey
- Christmastime
- Circus
- cocktail weiners
- Coke Zero
- confessional booth at church
- Corey Feldman
- Corey Haim
- couch jumping
- Cougar Town
- crack popcorn
- crying
- dairy products
- David Hasselhoff
- Debbie Gibson tapes
- Deep Fried Oreos
- deep-fried foods
- dem O's
- diet
- dimples
- Ding Dong Deli Kelly
- divorce
- Doogie Howser MD
- douche-bags
- douchebags
- Draw something
- drunk Jess
- drunk pirates
- Easter
- ebay
- Einstein
- Facebook statuses
- facebook whore
- fat girls running in marathons
- feeces
- FICO score
- food
- food addiction
- food stamps
- football
- Fraggle Rock
- Funyuns
- gastric bypass surgery
- Gem
- ghetto friends
- Gilbert Gottfried
- GLOW
- gluten
- Golden Girls
- Gonnorrhea
- grammatical errors
- greeting cards
- Guam
- haiti
- half-marathon
- halloween
- Happy Birthday to my brother
- helping others
- herpes
- hiccups
- high school reunions
- holidays
- home alarms
- hookers and booze
- Hot Latino from Brazil
- hot model wife
- hot shirtless guy
- IKEA
- Indian recipes
- Jim Brewer
- Jim Croce
- Jo from Facts of Life
- Justin Tucker
- ketchup
- Kristi
- lazy calves
- lesbians
- life lessons
- LL Cool J
- love
- low self esteem
- Mail-Order Brides
- making fun of rap
- Married with Children
- Martha Stewart
- Martin Luther
- meditation
- mental illness
- Menudo
- merkins
- Michael Jordan
- moth balls
- Motorcycles are death machines
- MS
- MTV
- Multiple Sclerosis
- Murder She Wrote
- my mom
- Native Americans
- New Years
- NKOTB
- nude photos
- NWA's F*ck The Police
- Occupy Baltimore
- Ocean City
- pagers
- Paleo
- parenting
- peanut butter
- Pepsi vs Coke
- personality disorders
- perversion
- pilgrims
- politics
- poop
- poor nursing skills
- premature births
- prison
- Project Runway
- prostitutes
- Prozac
- Psychology Today
- pumpkin pie
- ramen noodles
- recipe for gaining weight
- recipes
- recycled blog
- Redd Fox
- republicans
- resolutions
- rodent hairs
- Salt N Pepa
- Santa Claus
- Satan's toys
- Scrabble
- Scrubs
- scurvy
- Seasonal Affective Disorder
- shamrock pasties
- shaving
- shoes
- Siamese Twins
- Siri
- skin cancer
- skinny people who complain about gaining weight
- sleep deprivation
- slutty prom gowns
- smoking
- smoking weed
- Snickers bars
- some year in the 1980's
- spaghetti man
- Spray tan
- St. Patty's Day
- stick figures
- stupid Maryland weather
- subdural hematoma
- Sudafed and Nyquil
- superbowl 2012
- Taco Bell
- tankinis
- tartar sauce
- the Catholics
- the end of the world
- the fat guy from lost
- The Jeffersons
- The Jonas Brothers
- The Maury Povich Show
- the rape of student loans
- The Tea Party
- therapy
- things that annoy me
- thong underwear
- Thor
- time machines
- TMZ
- tooth fairy
- tsunami
- Tummy tuck
- turkey
- TV
- ugly sweater parties
- vacuums
- Valentines day
- Vaseline
- Vietnam
- welfare
- what fun is poking if you're not even touching?
- whiskey
- Wyatt
- Xanax
- You must be super bored.
- your momma so fat jokes
- Zachary
About Me

- Jess
- I'm just a girl with a dream. Actually, that's not true. I'm an old lady and my dreams have pretty much faded away. But, for whatever it's worth, I still feel obligated to go on living. Sometimes I think too much and too long about things that it seems like no one else cares about besides me. I can't decide if this makes me a better person or doomed to live an anxiety riddled exsistence. Somewhere in the midst of all this craziness, I became one of those people who obsesses about her kids. Look at them - wouldn't you be crazy about them if they were yours?
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