I feel like I'm stuck in a rut of sorts. I find myself stalking others on facebook and daydreaming of being them in some sort of alternate life. Do others do that, I wonder? Do I have some sort of "facebook envy"? I mean, it's not like I right click, download the family pics and then put my face over their's via Photoshop (well, the one time - but not anymore).... Seriously though - How is it that one social network can become so engrained into the mainstream that now we have a new vocabulary for stuff that didn't even exsist years and years ago? That's not retorical, Chester - how did this happen? I demand answers.

I'm kidding of course. I don't even really know if there is a new vocabulary related to facebook. I'm sure there is though. Or there should be. "Facebook envy" is a term I just made up. I also use "facebook spy" (logging onto someone else's facebook to view their friends. I've done this to look at Jamie's ex-girlfriends and some peeps from high school, I admit it). Also, "facebook whore" (flirting incessantly with excess boyfriends/girlfriends via messages, chatting and that 'poke' feature, which has so many sexual undertones I don't even know where to begin) & my personal favorite, "facebook mudslinging" - which can be any number of fighting tactics used from one facebooker to another. You know - using your status as a personal jab at a particular "friend" or creating some sort of debate via the comment section as if your note/photo comment/posting was personally aimed at their situation. Of course, nothing is better than arguing, ghetto, loudmouthed friends. Nothing, that is, except being *witness* to other people's arguing, ghetto, loudmouthed friends on a public social network.

Back in the day, ya know - we actually argued WITH one another. Yeah. Like in REAL LIFE. Or we argued via pager which was really difficult considering all you could spell in numbers was "love" and "Go". Anyone remember that? Pagers? It seems so hysterical now, doesn't it? Like we might as well been carrying around tin cans with strings or walkie talkies. I doubt a teenager would even know what a pager is. My 14-year old nephew didn't know what Fraggle Rock was. Sigh. So so sad.

I've had this horrible headache on the right side of my head all day today. I thought maybe it was a combination of my lack of caffeinated beverages (no work means no IV line of coffee/Coke Zero), combined with playing word bubble games online for hours on end (so addicting... seriously go look it up), & also the fact that today at the playground with the boys, I slammed my head on a jungle gym that was in no way made to accommodate my mammoth-sized head, nor my 6 foot stance when I climbed it with my 2-year old (I mean, seriously? I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to go into park built for toddlers when I'm a sasquatch)... At any rate, in case it's a subdural hematoma and I die - you can be at peace knowing that you were supporting me in your blog-reading efforts. And also, please make sure that this masterpiece gets published, printed & my kids get all the subsequent riches. Also I'd like a statue please - maybe outside of the Friendly's in Catonsville. But not some gay standing statue or anything like that, but one of those ones where I'm sitting on a bench like Ronald McDonald & kids can climb on my lap and take photos. Tell me *that* wouldn't be awesome? Are you writing all this down? Oh, wait - this is a printable webpage. Nevermind.

Don't you hate when you shave your legs (girls-, gay men- & professional swimmer-blog readers only) and then later, you realize you forget that one strip of hair, usually right by the knee? I call this a "leg mo-hawk". That's exactly what it looks like. I also like the "hair jams" (yet another term I've coined) - this is where you shave only from the knee down because you just are gonna wear capri pants most of the summer and you never have sex with your husband and no one ever sees your thighs except for two small children who don't even know that they're not supposed to be hairy. I mean, you know - generally speaking. "You" being no one in particular in that explanation.....

Oh wow. It's late. I need to go to bed. Sorry to end so abruptly, but I need my rest since my kids get up with the sun and I'm starting to get extra cranky from my tiredness. I had much more to say too. Guess you'll have to come back tomorrow.