So, I need to lose weight. Seriously. This chunky business sucks and I've got a closet full of clothing that will go to waste if I don't do something serious. The problem is I love to eat food. Seriously. I've tried to psychologize why I eat and the truth of the matter is, I like food. There. That's the core of the problem. I'm a selfish, gluttonous pig and I like the comfort and satisfaction that only a fat and sugar laden meal can provide for me. I'm like a crack addict but with baked goods and fast food. When I'm stressed - I eat. When I'm bored - I eat. When I'm happy - I eat. When I'm depressed... well, you get the picture.

I get so sick of people telling me that I'm not fat. "You're tall" I get a lot. "You just have a soft middle". "You know, Jessica - you're never going to be super skinny". Blah blah blah. People. You don't see me naked (well some of you may, if you're lucky and play your cards right). You don't know the number on the scale. I guarantee that it's higher than you think it is. And I also guarantee that my BMI puts me in some sort of unhealthy range. OK - so I'm not morbidly obese. So I don't have to get weighed on a special scale or order my clothes from the back of a fingerhut catalog. But I'm not happy with the way I look. And that's really all that matters. And I'm the one who has to look down at myself and not you (again, unless you're lying on top of me, which is really an issue/topic for a whole other blog). And saying things to me like "well, you're average" (great! the average american is 25 lbs overweight) or "you're just a little fat" (little + fat = oxymoron?)

so.... all that work up for Resolution number 1. Lose weight. Which I will add is really only possible with this super complicated, hard to understand, obviously rigged formula of: eating less + moving more. OMG. Could it really be that easy? you ask. Yes, friend. It is *that* easy. You eat more than you think you do and you don't work out nearly enough. Did you know that running on a treadmill for like an hour and a half only burns enough calories to justify a small order of french fries? I'm totally serious. And I'm going to do it this time because I'm fabulous and I deserve to have an equally hot bod.

Resolution 2 is to read more books. I have a list that I keep, on-going, based on suggestions, reviews and interesting looking covers (sometimes that's the only factor, so don't judge me). I buy books (or rent them at the library) with the best of intentions, but I never seem to get around to reading them. I then end up owing the Baltimore County public library system tons of money. Which is never a good thing. So, yeah. I'm gonna do that.

And for my third resolution (because any more than 3 is just excessive) - I want to find happiness. You can figure that out for whatever you think it means. But I'm determined to make it happen this year. More on that in the next post.