Ok, I'm only slightly sorry.

I'm lying to you. I'm not even a tiny bit remorseful, nor do I feel even a speck of regret. I'm just one of those extra needy people who say "i'm sorry" way too much until it ceases to have any meaning other than being a reflection of my lack of a spine and vast void of self-worth.

I go through periods in my life where I lack motivation. I stop working out and eating healthy. I let my work habits slack. It's a shame, really. Because the repercussions of such acts is that I get pulled into this downward spiral where I do less, feel like crap, then do even less, then feel even crappier..... and then sink deeper into a web of destruction and a lack of personal hygiene. It's a serious issue.

Of course, that's not what is happening to me now. I just have so much on my plate these days that I feel overwhelmed and then instead of tackling my to-do list one by one I write blogs and stay up late watching old Family Guy episodes and eating ice cream sundaes. I can't help it. I enjoy writing blogs. I enjoy sarcastic animation based around crude adult humor. I don't, however, enjoy paying bills online or trying to figure out where I will live in the Fall. It stresses me out. A lot. So does working late... which I seem to do almost daily. Or I bring work home with me and then never get around to doing it. I should be doing it right now. I should be sleeping!

Alas, I'm not. I'm here instead. You should really feel privileged. Yes, you. You should thank me by buying me this way too expensive watch. Sidebar: don't really buy me this. It's outrageously expensive. Beautiful though, no? Lois Hill makes the most beautiful jewelry. I have one bracelet that a friend gave me when I delivered my second kid and I don't want to wear it much for fear someone will breathe on it and ruin it. I mean seriously. The stuff is silver. Silver! It's not lined with 100-dollar bills either - I asked the sales girl at Nordstrom and she didn't find it the least bit humorous. Of course, this was a few moments after I had a cart race with my 5-year old in the size 11 discount shoe aisle. You can take the Walmart out of the girl, but... eh. You know how that saying goes.

I'm going to bed now. I realize this is a crappy blog and I'm cutting it short when I'm just getting revved up. But similar to working out & kinky sex - you have to ease your way in. Otherwise, you'll scare the donkey.

(Every time I think of anything related to sex and a donkey, I think of that Tom Hanks movie from the 80's Bachelor Party. Remember that scene when he's in the back room with that girl and she's topless and then her head starts changing into other people? I think at one point, it's a nun. Not sure why this is in my head now, but I'm sure to have nightmares)

And there you have it. Hope ya'll have a splendid night.