What's that you say? A blog two days in a row? And it's not even your birthday??

Just hold on before you snot on your keyboard from an overabundance of excitement. I'm not even sure this will be a long blog. It could just be these few sentences. I could end it right here. I could. Don't test me.

Eh. You know me too well.

The truth of the matter is I have no real topics on which I even can think to write. I always start writing in here with the best of intentions and then I lose myself 3 seconds in when I'm inevitably interrupted by all the chaos of my house/neighborhood/internal stimuli. This is why my blogs are so choppy and random. Hey! There's a theme.

Maybe, in fact, that's what this blog is all about. Maybe it just doesn't make sense to you because I'm high and you're not. I'm kidding. I don't do that stuff. I don't even drink anymore. Or smoke. Or even eat bad food. No wonder I chew on my fingers so much.

Is it sad that I have over a thousand Coke points? I'm not even entirely sure what I'm saving for as all of the gifts available are super lame. Of course, I could be a hero and donate the points to some worthy cause or a failing school, but I'm selfish and I'm holding out for some Coke Teva Sandals or maybe one of those chairs that folds up into a bag. With cup holders. You know, for all my Coke products. You can laugh all you want, but I'll be the one sitting in the freebie chair whilst you blister away in your fold out from the Walmart. Does anyone remember Pepsi points? I think I collected like 5000 of them. I had everything Pepsi ever made. I think I had Pepsi thong underwear.

That's a lie. I hate thongs. I probably had the Pepsi briefs.

I think if you work around crazy people long enough, you start to self-diagnosis. I'm convinced I have some form of schizophrenia, personality disorder, mood disorder, and OCD. Just a touch of each though. And certainly not enough to do half the things I've read in the charts. Well, maybe 1/3rd. I could probably assault someone in my family or run over a pet. On purpose. I've considered both at some point in my life.

Last week I cooked every single day. Some fabulous recipes - like homemade chicken tortilla soup and sweet and sour meatballs. This week, I've made grilled cheese. I have nothing out for tomorrow's dinner either. Maybe I'm bipolar.

See? It's sick. Good thing I don't work around drug addicts.

Oh, wait. I do. Nevermind.

This blog is horrible. It's bumf. Ha! And you thought I wouldn't use my word-of-the-day. Actually, true story - bumf *isn't* my word of the day. Back when I worked in the marketing department at a children's hospital, the director of development and I would use our word from our word-a-day emails in sentences all day to one another (both spoken and via email, even though we sat in the same office). To an outsider, it probably seemed quite nerdy.... of course, it didn't help that we'd over-emphasize the word and then laugh hysterically about it. Now that I look back on it, I understand why no one ate lunch with us. Ever. At any rate, 'bumf' was one of the words. And I remember it because it was one of my favorites. I know you're curious. Go ahead, go look it up. But you have to remember it and use it from now on.... expand your vocab. It will come in handy if you ever get trapped in a hospital with crazy people who want to have all night Scrabble tournaments. Trust me, I know. I've been there. Plus, I'm a tad manic.

Did you notice the re-occurring theme of my craziness in this blog? You didn't? Eh. My creativity is lost on you. It truly is. I should focus on using monosyllabic words so you can read this and not get all frustrated at your extremely low IQ in comparison to mine.

Was that mean? I apologize.

Tomorrow I will revert back to writing regular blogs about things my child is doing in school and new words my almost 2 year old can say. But please don't complain your bored. At least not to my face.

I will see you then.